2026
Coming home was a difficult journey, emotionally. I took four flights and nearly two days to arrive back in Cape Town. My sister was there to greet me and both of us struggled to fight back the tears. The emotional rollercoaster of coming home and giving up played out in my mind for months afterwards as I slowly started to process the journey.
It is now over a year since I came home and I finally feel ready to talk more about it. One of the biggest challenges of spending five to eight hours a day cycling is how much time it gives your mind to wonder. It doesn’t take much concentration while physically riding. I habit I got into and which significantly contributed to my struggles was my mind drifting to past mistakes, regrets and grievances.
It didn’t always play out like that. During the good days when the road was beautiful or the landscape stunning, my mind stayed in the moment and I embraced everything that was on offer. Or when the days where tough, due to weather, terrain or altitude it was also okay. The mind was so focused on getting through the obstacles that there was little time to think. The regular mundane days of monotonous road and easy terrain meant the mind could wonder.
I was not always able to embrace the boredom. It is human nature unfortunately and often the reason why so many people use phones and television to distract themselves. That was probably the biggest take away from this journey. And this could often lead to days where I felt stuck and was reluctant to leave a place, I knew full well what would lie ahead and the triggers that would take me down that mental path.
Another aspect that played a role was the constant need to make decisions. Which route? Where to stop or camp? Where to restock? How much water do I need to carry? Who do I ask for help? Is it safe? Do I have enough battery power? Do I have enough money or cash? Is the visa correct? Is all my gear safe? Can I leave my bicycle here? This also contributed in me staying in places longer than I should. This meant I only had to make one decision on that day. Let’s just stay one more day.
The biggest realization from all of this, is that I have not finished this aspect of my life yet. Now that I am working the regular nine to five and that feeling of living in a different way has made me realize how much I miss it. How much I crave that challenge. How fulfilling all those emotions were, no matter how difficult it was to process. Those unknowns. That uncertainty. It makes me think of the quote from Jedidiah Jenkins. “The routine is the enemy of time.” And I feel that more now than I have ever before.
As for this website. I will be doing a series of reviews of all the gear I used while traveling through Central America. And getting ready for the next adventure. So, check here over the next year or so to what is next.
Dancing Saddle 